Alison Donaghey comes back on the SuperPower Up! podcast show to talk about Thinking Opposite. She and Tonya Dawn Recla talk about suspending beliefs and considering the opposite: “When we are able to suspend our beliefs long enough to consider the opposite perspective…it opens us to everything that exists between ours and the opposite and then we can really understand where we live on that plane and why we live there.”

Hello everybody this is Tonya Dawn Recall with Super Power Experts and I am laughing because I have back on the show with me today Alison Donaghey. We were just having this awesome conversation and I was like “Hey! We need to be recording this!” and that is exactly what we are going to do for you.

Welcome back to show, Alison!

Thank you! It is such a pleasure to be spending time with you again.

To catch you all up to speed we have solved all of the world’s problems in about ten minutes. So, if you have questions let us know.

Yes! World leaders just give us a shout.

Where we started with this was dialoging around how we come together. For example, thought leaders and change agents and those of us who do this work in the world and really model what happens when you don’t always agree, or you’re using different languages, and operate in different paradigms. I know that Alison’s whole thing is thinking opposite and we are going to discuss that. What does that look like, and can we meet in a high vibrational space that allows for all of it.

I think we can do that. That’s what get’s me jazzed and that’s what fuels me.

Absolutely, I think we can too.

So, now that I have mentioned Think Opposite can you tell us a little more about that?

Sure, I have this new campaign and new radio show that is coming up called Think Opposite, it’s an online live show. What I will be doing is bringing on guest to explore this Think Opposite. It is when we are able to suspend our beliefs long enough to consider the opposite perspective. In doing that, it opens us to everything that exist between ours and the opposite and then we can really understanding where we live on that plane and why we live there. 

When we do that it allows us to have conversations with other people. So, when we are talking about other people’s perspectives and considering the opposite perspective you can’t help but see the other person as a human. You can’t see someone’s perspective and not see them. When we can see those people then I think we can actually communicate, build trust, and connect. Which is something I think is seriously lacking in today’s internet type society where we get stuck in our echo chambers. It’s reinforced all of the time with our algorithms that what we are doing is so right because everyone else is agreeing with us.

In fact there is actually a small percentage that is agreeing with us but the internet can make it seem like a lot.

It’s a rude awakening if you try and use someone else’s computer!

Yes, it’s so fascinating. I don’t know if you saw that one study that they had during the election where pro Trump people agreed to be given algorithm geared towards Hilary supporters and vice versa. Almost all of them said that they thought differently afterwards, not necessarily changing their mind but they considered the other perspective. You can’t consider another perspective if you don’t consider another perspective.

Without considering another perspective, we don’t know if what we are believing is actually, what we believe because we haven’t explored it.

I love that you mentioned that. I didn’t see that study. People had asked me to tap into the election just to see what I would see. It changed so much, I have never seen an election where it changed that much, the energy of it and the fluidity of it. It was leaning this way and then it was leaning that way and it was so cool to watch the fluctuation of it, and that told me that people were actively involved in the process energetically. What I saw was the shutting down of communication, which is so key to what you were talking about. So, what it did was create a false sense of security on the democratic side of the house versus the republic side of the house.

Due to the villainization of any Trump supporters it shut down dialog. I think it created this rude awakening at the actual time of the election because there was this false sense of support and consensus. Quieting dialog is not the same as consensus. It would be different if we all sat in a room and voted by raising our hands in a room together, but that’s not the case people vote in private. What people were privately thinking and privately talked about wasn’t being shared openly. It created this real disconnection in what reality people saw.

I love that they did that study. In my crazy super power world, I think that we actually created social media and all of it’s algorithms because if you really rise above and see different perspectives you have to want that at this stage. You don’t mistakenly run into people who don’t think like you do, you have to seek it out and choose it and choose to expand in that way.

I think it goes back to how bad to you want it. How bad do you want to rip the veil down and see what’s happening. The way we have it set up now you can pretty much exist in your life with never seeing it if you don’t want to.

I think sometimes we let the facts get in the way because the facts are so distorted. In trying so hard to locate those we forget that there are people involved and with people come irregularities. Then we are not exactly looking at the whole picture because we get stuck on the fact which may or may not be accurate depending on who’s telling them.

We forget that we don’t have to be an expert to have an opinion or to consider someone else’s opinion. It’s just that willingness to have a conversation and we are not going to have them in our Facebook groups. I was talking with this guy one time about tribes, because I have an issue with tribes because again we are in our echo chamber when we are in them. I said to him do you really think that all tribes are like that or do you think it’s possible to have a tribe that’s not. Can you be in a tribe that challenges you and you disagree and things like that. He asked me if I was in a group like that, and I told him well I feel like I am. Then he asked me how many men were in the group and I was like “huh none”  and then he asked how many non critical thinkers are in the group and I was like “ Oh, ya none” and I am pretty aware of this stuff and I still fall into the trap of surrounding myself with people like me. Getting outside of that, fighting the urge to block someone on Facebook when they disagree with you or say something horrible and instead open a dialog about it.

During the election I had both pro Trump and  pro Hilary views coming through on Facebook. They were spewing all sorts of anger hateful things. I finally chimed in a said okay can you just say three nice things about the other party. They all disengaged except for a couple of people, and then it was like, “Well, she has nice teeth” I was like well that’s a start. 

We don’t always need to have as much information as we think. We don’t need to be a political expert to start a conversation with people to find out what they believe in and who they are.

I like this conversation because where it takes me is I see a big difference in the conversations that people seek out and they’re able to engage in based on where they sit in their own journey. So part of the Super Power Experts thing has shifted from the concept of really developing the personal power into what we call super power. So the mantra is “Where personal power becomes your super power” I believe that up until now, and I am open to that not being the case going forward. I believe that tribal cohesion and getting affirmations is part of the journey of climbing your own mountain, it’s very myopic and you have this goal and this mission and purpose and there is value in finding the people that can affirm that with you.

I wonder if what you are talking about exist on the other side of that which is now you have this solid sense of self. What I have been noticing is that when someone has hit that level of self-actualization they are much more open to the dialog. The biggest difference between where I sit now to where I sat even a year ago, is that I am much more willing to ask questions. Also, I think is very purposeful. I wasn’t in a position to gather all of that other information because the core essence of who I was, was still so shaky.

Now, do you think that you are more comfortable in who you are because you are surrounded with people who think like you or do you think you become secure in who you are because you just grow? I don’t remember my parents having tribes, I mean they talk to the neighbors and disagree where the fence would go and that sort of thing and they still knew who they were. 

Well, perhaps it used to be the amount of people they knew. These days with social media the number of people that we know exponentially increased. So, perhaps they did have a tribe but it was based on other factors like their exposure to people was limited.

I think I get hung up on that word “tribe” because it’s a bastardization of what a tribe is. For example, back in the day a tribe had all sorts of people like, the young and the old, and the smart and the stupid, the brave and the scared, the thinkers and the people in action. All of these people realized that all of people in the tribe brought something to the table and that they needed the diversity to survive.

Right. We have gotten rid of that.

Right and we pretend that we are engaged in this great thing called a tribe, when maybe if they called it something different that actually identified it for what it was I would have less hair sticking up on the back of my neck when I heard it. It really does drive me crazy. 

When someone says to me “Oh, me and my tribe..” I say, “Do, you know what a tribe is, do you really?” I really want to question them because to me it’s like don’t use words if you’re not using them right. Definitely some of my own stuff going on there.

Well, it was really popular with marketing in social media as a way to get to people. I am not sure if it’s still popular. It’s so fascinating in the due diligence business that my husband and I created completely capitalizes on that whole thing. What we saw was that within the tribe there is all of this false sense of security, we thing we know people. There are all of these things that are occurring that are hugely detrimental to small businesses. Look at all of the groups, like BNI and groups on LinkedIn, that create this idea that you are a tribe. When really it’s groups getting together that have a shared interest or a shared belief. It gave this false sense of security, but it’s really beautiful if you look at it because that is where a lot of us do our work.

If it didn’t happen where would we do our work. Maybe we create it, maybe we are responsible for all of it.

Dang it! Now I am going to think of that every time I hear the word tribe. This is my fault, I did this. 

Yep! You can’t real against something if it doesn’t exist…

I think we get into these trouble spaces too when we spend so much time trying to get people to not leave there tribes and to not leave there comfort zones. We see this a lot when we have trigger alerts. I am not sure how often this happens where you are but here I am reading a lot about how schools and teachers are starting to teach to warn the student when triggers come up. I think well the rest of the world is not going to warn them. Are we creating anxiety by allowing these trigger alerts.

There was a teacher that got fired from a private school because he was talking about the difference between our morals and our laws and they don’t always align. For example, you can see that there are no cars coming for ages on the roads. Which happens a lot here because we live by prairies here in Canada. So, you come up on stop sign and you can tell no one is coming so you just slow down and just go through it. You know it is against the law but morally you don’t have a problem with it because you know everyone is safe.

Then he went on to say that he doesn’t believe in abortion but the law says that it is legal. Then one of the other student and her friends refused to come back because it triggered her. He ended up getting fired for it because he didn’t show enough sensitivity and she was triggered by it. 

Interesting.

What happens when someone like that comes and works for me? Do I now have to pad everything I say because my staff may get triggered. Then where do we start having conversations about morality and law if somebody somewhere is going to get triggered at some point. 

That is interesting. I have a really crass example of that. When I went to basic training in the army I had a perception of what that was going to be like, I had watched the movies and heard the stories and everything else. When I got there it felt kind of water down, it was physically challenging and all of that but it wasn’t quite the grit that I was anticipating.  At one point someone in the barracks next to us committed suicide. We had to do a whole stand down day. Mind you the course is only 9 weeks and it’s pretty regimented and we had to take a whole day off for this. I remember thinking to myself we are preparing for war, and we are being handed stress cards over this situation.

One of the drill Sargent’s summed it up by telling us that when they were in training someone killed themselves and we had to go clean it up. What happens when these soldiers get deployed to a war zone and they are having to face death and people are stressed. What really is occurring. Then I ended up having one of my fellow soldiers ended up killing themselves down the road.  It was interesting to me to watch some of that transpire in a similar way to what you are talking about. I had to ask myself what have we done here?  I understand why they did it because there were issues that happened and they had to respond to that.

You bring up a good point I don’t think we are accomplishing the goal that we think we are in doing that.

I am quite a certain we are not. My logical self tells me, and my heart doesn’t feel this way, but logical self does. If someone is so fragile to these trainings and these army camps then do we really want to put a gun in their hands.

Exactly.

Well, and I am not pro war so that brings up a whole other point  that we shouldn’t put a gun in anyone’s hands. For that very reason though, how fragile are we? How fragile should we be? Where is the reality of what we are doing?

When we have Facebook and we are able to go on there and judge people with some distorted anonymity, it’s like come on people your name and you face is all over your post. I am not sure how people disconnect from that reality but they do. We never have to see peoples reactions and we never have to see the ramifications of what we do. So I believe conversations around this stuff is important. 

I believe they are too. I also see almost going back to thinking opposite the value in having to go through this. That is what allows us to opt out.  There is almost like this badge of honor now to choose not to participate in social media. Then they don’t get to go through that and I think there is power in actually going through it. 

I have really been looking at that the sexual harassment laws, and I understand why they started. The use of them now creates a situation where people do not have to take any responsibility. The main question should be, did you address this with that person?  I saw this a lot when I was in the work force. It was this huge abdication of power, nobody asked well did you say, “I don’t appreciate you saying that to me.”

Also, at the same time knowing that those laws were put into place because at one time those rights were taken away from people. There used to be huge ramifications for voicing these things. Where is the balance in that? How do you teach people accountability and responsibility and protect. I think it is in the application of it, it’s in the management of it.

Which is the same as what you are talking about with regard to social media. Can we stop and say “Hey wait let’s review where this conversation is going.” Or can we say three complimentary things about the other side. It takes more of us doing that. I will confess I am more of the opt out person and not interested in engaging in conflict in social media. Due not seeing people rising to the maturity of it.

There is definitely some of that. I allowed myself to get sucked into a conversation not that long ago on Facebook. It was an article about doing saging in the classroom. I am not sure if you are familiar with that. Smudging is the first Nations cleansing of spirits and negativity to allow space for growth and positivity. You burn sage and other herbs and you have a bit of a ceremony around it. They started to bring it in the schools and there was a parent that objected and wanted it to go to the Supreme Court because she felt it was a religion.

So, there was this questions on if it was spirituality or religion. Which is not the part that I got involved in but I do believe that there is a place for this in schools. We all come from different backgrounds and I believe we should celebrate this and talk about it and Explore it in cultural awareness week. I think we should have cultural awareness week every month where we pick cultures and we celebrate and learn about them. I said including white cultural, and all hell broke loose. I was amazed on how white people aren’t oppressed, yet they were trying to shut me up and trying to oppress my opinion.

It was really interesting to see the fear that was just around that sentence. Then that brings us to that we think that disagreement has to be conflict. When we say conflict people rise to that. Their energy rises to that, their fight and flight rises to that. We either back out or go full in. Communication doesn’t have room for the  term conflict. I think that we are making things more difficult by brining that word in.

It is funny that you should say that because I experience that in myself. So what I observed in myself in communication to Facebook. I would observe what was happening and watch my internal response to things. If it turned conflicting I would feel conflicted internally. So, as I like to do I dug into that to get under the surface. It felt like an attack, it felt like something was going to happen because it was in this public sphere. Like there was going to be this ripple effect. You are right we created because I said where is this coming from? Some of it is modeled in the mass media and we go from zero to sixty pretty rapidly.

I finally said to myself I know that I am safe here, I don’t believe any of this but apart of me does and is affected by this. What does it mean to just talk, and then the flip side of that coin I have been really encouraging people to not have a stand or be prepared to go into a conversation. Just go into it and allow the energy to emerge, and allow the conversation to unfold and watch what happens.

I think that you are onto something with checking in internally and tapping into that. Really at the end of the day it is just words, it is just an opinion.

Right! I would catch myself and I would have to ask myself do I care about this. What is happening here. At that the same time the conspiracy theory side of me feels like it’s in me but it is a foreign element. We could always go back eons ago to crucifixions that happened when people spoke up and perhaps there are seeds there. I think aspects of our culture now capitalize on that.

I have a friend of mine I love it because we can have conversation about strong subjects. Sometimes we agree but most of the time we don’t. She will tell me I hear what you’re saying and I still believe what I believe and I am like cool. It is so cool because it gives me the space to hear everything. At the end of it neither one of us is trying to change the others mind, it’s just  here are the options whether you agree or disagree but just hear me out.

The reality is that if we just hear someone out, we can’t help but to hear what they said which will somehow impact where we go with it.

What is so fascinating with that is modeling it and being it. For example, let say you had a whole army of “Think Opposite” people that agreed with you, and said let’s put this movement into motion. How would you do that in an authentic and empowered way? How do you do it in a way that is empowering but isn’t disempowering to someone else, especially when you not seeing it modeled by anyone else yet.

Well, I think it is two fold. I think that is a great question. I think that it is something we can do in very small ways. Like when someone is tail gating you and you want to call them names, maybe stop and say oh they might have something important to get to and be understanding. When you have looked at it that way and seen him as person and offered him an alternative story. In doing that any time you have to deal with something that is annoying make up a story of that person or situation that you like better. That allows us practice to the opposite perspective internally. This is where the two fold come in.

The first part is the effect of your belief system and where it is going to take you. Not in five second or couple of days but in the next five years. What is that domino effect of your belief? If you believe in pro choice the right for someone to do whatever they want with their body, I would invite you to look at that whole spectrum. Pro choice has it’s end for the right to die with dignity in Youth in Asia. So if you believe in pro choice but you don’t believe in Youth in Asia, there needs to be some time spent with that belief. So, start getting really clear on what you do actually believe. If you believe in pro life then where does that take you and what does that mean.  Could the end result be a women going to jail and being executed for having an illegal abortion, could that be the outcome of you fighting so hard for your belief. I am not saying change your opinion, I am just saying look at the full spectrum.  So, spend time with yourself with those things you feels so strongly about, those things you would go to the wall for and why. How much do you know about the other perspective and where is it going to take humanity.

The second part is the external part. When you meet someone who is so passionate about what they believe or so apposed passionately about what you believe just ask them why. Say to them “Why do you believe what you believe.” Then really hear them and explore that with them saying, “Okay, I can wrap my head around these parts, but these parts I really struggle with this because…..” When we start having conversations like that then inevitably people will start moving towards the center. They will move away from this polarization and they will end up somewhere hugging around the middle. 

I am pro life but I don’t think a women should go to jail, so how do we reframe this. How do we protect the fetus and not vilify the women who is in a desperate situation. How do we believed pro choice but not support across the board Youth in Asia. How do we move to that center point where we can all live with the outcome to some extent so we are not so polarized.

Those are the two ways:

Internally ask yourself why do you believe what you believe and what are the opposing opinions and do they hold any validity.  

Where will those choices take you and then ask for information and seek in question from the people in front of you.

I really love that. Whenever I am in a political conversation or find myself around the information. I feel very grateful that I am not in the position to make those decisions. They are complex and convoluted choices. It is easy to blame these people who take a stand in that position. I always like to point at the before and after pictures of the presidents that have done it, you can’t tell me that’s an easy job. Whether they do it well or poorly, it is not easy. It ages them every time in this really interesting way, and that tells me it’s not what we think it is. I think that I have a unique perspective on that coming from the counter intelligence and being privy to some of the information. It is never black and white.

There are so many shades of right and wrong and decision making in the moment. When the CIA got in some trouble a while back for their alleged interrogation techniques, people asked my husband and I’s opinion on that. I would explain that if you have someone in front of you that has information that you know will save millions of lives but you have these rules that you have to abide by.  How do you make that decision, really in the moment how do you do that?

It is always more complex that it looks. So I love all of those examples you gave as far as it is to take a stand on things but what are the ramifications of that.  Asking yourself what are the consequences of me holding this position. That second part of what you said is true. Look at everything is a system or a cog in the wheel. If you twist this over here there are consequences and owning that. None of them are ever great, there are always pros and cons. So , I appreciate the practical application piece there.

Well and if you think about it. If you have a more well-rounded opinion chances are, you are just going to be more interesting. People are going to want to have more conversations with you because your more interesting.

I use this example, if someone comes up to you and says, “Apples are the best fruit on the planet.” So, you like wow this guys is really passionate about this. So then you ask him “Really, do you think they are better than raspberries’?” and he says, “Well, I have never had raspberries.” Then you ask “ Well, what about mangos?” he says back, “ Well, I have only ever tried apples.” Do you really want to continue to have a conversation with that person. All of a sudden he went from having an interesting story and perspective to someone who has no clout at all because they haven’t explored everything.

If you are able to get a well rounded opinion. If he would have said to me I have traveled the Earth trying all of the fruits I can find and apples are the best. Then I would want to hear that story. He would have so much more to offer me in the way of learning because I am not going to take a trip around the world to find all of these fruits. So, with him comes this authority and now I trust him. Because I trust him, I want to connect with him and I want to communicate with him. Start becoming more clear because it will make you more interesting.

If I talk to someone, who is in a long line of Christianity for example and they are that religion because they that’s all they know and everyone in their family is that. Then I say that is nice for them but I am not interested in talking with you. Now if you have told me you traveled all over the world studying religions and then you decided on Christianity then I want to talk to you. Then I know it came from a well rounded decision, not just a default of what was in front them.

Right. That limited perspective. I went through this phase and I still believe this to a degree. Opinion energies and thought energies are fairly low frequency energy. When they become really powerful is when you use them to create a particular version of reality that’s the space I really like to play in. For example if you’re a healer then there has to be people that are sick, you can’t be a healer if there is no one to heal. Be in awareness of that is important.

I am aware that by me actively saying that super powers are real I am creating  a reality where that is true. I am also creating the antithesis, which says that up until now we haven’t been doing that. So I created a void and now I am going to fill it.

That’s what we do. We just said that we created social media so that we have all of these fun areas to play in now. When you knowingly take responsibility for that, like you said now that is an interesting conversation for me. Otherwise, having an opinion that is sort of rootless, they are just like flighty and out there. It fact most of them are formed out of fear, it is a protective mechanism we develop opinions as a form of protection. Only once you have traversed through exactly what you are talking about do you formulate opinions out of a power place. Where you say that you are choosing to have the opinion knowingly creating the world that comes with it. That conversation is interesting to because now it’s saying I take responsibility for it and I am okay with the consequences of it. The ones I can see anyways. I have people joke with me like wouldn’t it be cool to create dragons. I agree that would be cool, or would it?

I am joking but it’s about knowingly owning that.

We have to be careful about that slippery slope as well, that this isn’t about being paralyzed over every single possible outcome. Like if I step on a beetle and it’s the last of its kind then we are not going to be able to make shellac paint and what we going to do without that. These houses that have the nicotine on the walls are not going to be able to be paint painted, so now these houses are not going to get built all because I got out of bed. So we don’t want to spiral into trying to understand every outcomes, it is not possible. We get blinded sided by things along the way and say “Whoa, I did not see that one coming.” and that is the fun of the adventure. 

In five years I need to look back at what I did here and except responsibility for it. How in five year can I look back on the choices that I made today given the knowledge that I have. It is not about not getting out of bed.

I really love that you said that.

Thank you. It is one of those objections that I come across.

Of course, and of the defensive posture, well, then we shouldn’t do any of it.  Your’re going to screw up. I tell people all of time that are finding their voice and standing in their power,  you’re going to piss people off. It’s fine you apologize and you own it. You will find your center, you can’t find your center if you stay all the way off on one angle. You really have to go for it if you want to find where your sweet spot is and there is going to be casualties along the way. Relationships will end and opportunities will get messed up but there is power in that also.

If we want to treat those people with the compassion that we want to be treated with. If you find yourself being defensive with someone maybe take a step back and do that internal work and ask where it’s coming from. Are you really going to get angry with a four year old that is learning their alphabet and they get it wrong. No, we are going to go okay let’s try that again.

I don’t know I have my moments. That it is a home schooling parent comment!

Well, and that is great I commend you for doing that. It is good to exercise your choices in ways that feels right for you.

Well, I don’t know if you would say that if you actually got to see it in action everyday.

Well, I say that because I have sat in on some school classrooms and thought well this is not good. So, I don’t think there is a perfect solution. 

Well, and nor does there have to be. It just dawned on me I don’t think we model thinking opposite very well because we are in agreement things.

Going back to the tribe conversation sometimes it is nice to relax in with the people with people who do share your world view. I encourage people not to take that conversation as saying don’t do that. I do think that you gain your strength and you confidence within those tribes to pursue other perspectives and maybe you bring those back to your tribe.

If you are a tribe person bringing new information is what creates change and evolution. So, even within your tribe don’t be afraid to say what about this. There is values in that.

Massive value because now you can explain it in what should be a safe environment.

To get back to what you were saying about not modeling thinking opposite very well. That being said I am still learning from you. In everything you’re saying I ask myself “Do I actually agree with that? Yes I do” Sometimes thinking opposite is just being reminded of what you actually believe. That’s great too. When you were talking about being in the military and the suicides, that got me thinking. I asked myself how I really feel about that.

How do I feel about the military? How do I feel about showers?

Haha! Am I pro showers!?

Yes! So even when we are around people that we are agreeing with it is good to talk about what you agree on too.

Perfect.

And explore their language and sometimes it is good to see that what we believe is working. I can see what you are doing with your business and home schooling your kids is moving in the right direction. This is going to yield the results we want ideally. This is part of the work that I want to belong to these people who are stepping outside of the status quo and what society is telling them to do to create this life and this world that they are happy and proud to be in.

That is beautiful.

In Super Power Experts I do this assessment for people on what their predisposed super powers are. One of the super powers in a chameleon like ability. Those folks are the ones through their entire existence got the message that they don’t fit in anywhere, and why can’t they be satisfied, or keep a job for more than year. It is so awesome for me to be able to affirm for them in those moments and tell them you didn’t want to!

Once you naturalize that like Spiderman had to get bit by a spider. Once you naturalize that now you can use those powers for good. It is so powerful to go into multiple environments and you speak different languages and costumes. Some people just get the subtleties of human behaviors and can turn it around and connect. To be able to dawn of different groups and to be able to affect them. So, the thing that they have been chastise for most of their lives is really an amazing super power. When they embrace it and are really to work with it.

That is so true! Usually, I think our super powers is something that others don’t get easy, what do you not have to try for. People see that and they try to oppress it to make you more like them. It is important to know that if there are people around you telling you don’t be like this or that, it is probably and indicator it’s one of your super powers. Maybe it’s not but maybe it is one of your clues that is that magic you hold. It can be explored and to not take this back and forth as far as what I say now I might not mean in five minutes as not being indecisive maybe it is just understanding the world at a higher level.

You can still have convictions and you can still carry authority because sometimes to changes your mind is what carries the convictions and the authorities.

In my opinion I do not think we do not do a great job of exercising that and again I think it is all very purposeful. You don’t really exercise that until you have full conviction in it. It does mean standing up in the face of opposition and saying it is okay that I don’t have a stand on that, it’s okay that I am not clear on that and I have a right to change my mind on it also. It’s okay and then model that for other people.  We can’t see anything externally unless it exist within us some where some how we have to connect with it or it doesn’t show up. Really owning that most of the time we are doing that process within ourselves.

Sometimes it is very rebellious, you have to get in peoples face and say I’m going to be this! Is that okay? Then you realize that you don’t die the world can kind of be that. Then you settle into it and you’re like oh yes I can be this. Don’t be afraid to be a little pushy around it that’s just you creating conviction around it and build the cellular confidence around it.

What if I am the person that boycotts this thing and what if I am the person you stands up against these things. Will I survive that?

Oh, my god you will. That is never going to be the thing to kill you. I was reading this article about Iceland they can just change careers. One day they are a lawyer and then they can say I want to be an accountant and everyone is happy for them and encouraging. It’s not seen as failure for them. Now I want to go to Iceland and experience the energy because I am curious. 

I was reading an article about a woman who was running Planned Parenthood and was pro-choice. Then she witnessed an abortion and completely swung and now she is a face and voice for pro-life. She was an authority in both but due to life circumstances she has chosen the opposite and changed her perspective. I don’t think that makes her flakey I think that was just a growth process she made on her own.

Back to our kids. Your kid comes home and says how much they loved their soccer game. You’re not going to say sorry you already tried ballet you have to do that. If we don’t do that to our kids why would we do that to ourselves.

That is a great example. I love to use my daughter in the capacity of would I say this to her. If the answer is, no then why would I say it to myself.

For those of you out there who have kids and are trying to gage intuitive hits. Would you say whatever is coming through to your child. If you don’t have kids imagine yourself as a child and the adult you as the parent and have a conversation that is expansive.

Other good tools are if it’s light it’s right. If it feels expansive then go, if it feels constricting then look into it.

This can be so easy and as needed. You do not have to mediate for hours about this stuff. You can if you want to  but there are lots of as needed easy tools. As you bump up against what would you say to a seven year old, what is the opposite story. 

That is why we created the Net at Super Power Experts if you need you hand held or have questions. Grant yourself permission because truthfully we don’t see a lot of this modeled. Alison and I wouldn’t be able to do the work we do in the world if this was common place.

It is easy to say that we would rather be in the place where everyone agrees with us but that is not where our work is. So it is okay to want support in that and affirmation. That to me is the biggest value of a tribe but then be sure to expand out too.

Obviously you and I can talk for days. Hey! It is important work to solve all of the worlds problems. We will link this interview to your other interview. Where can we send our listeners who want to listen to you.

You can find me at www.dominothinking.com is the best place to find me. It talks about my radio show and I am just getting my website re-done. If people would like more information about that or they want to be guest on the show because they have an outside the status quo.I am looking to provide well rounded opinions that are outside of the status quo so that people that are in the status quo can maybe start considering a different perspective. If you feel you are a good candidate we chat about that.

Or you can email me at [email protected] I would love to hear from you.

I know that you and I have much more to connect on in the future and I appreciate you wanting to play with us.

Well, thank you, I will play anytime you want.

To all of our listeners out there we appreciate your loyalty. Until next time go out discover your super powers and change the world.

Learn more about Alison Donaghey

Listen to Alison’s previous show Living on the Edge of the Coin with Alison Donaghey